This is an article for anyone who might feel trapped, who might feel stuck, who might feel frustrated, with themselves or with their situation.
For anyone who might find themselves feeling like things aren’t going their way despite all the best efforts, I see you and I want to share this with you.
Who made these rules?
From childhood, we are programmed with certain messages about the ‘right’ way to do things. The ‘best’ ways to behave, the jobs that are ‘good’, what it looks like and means to be ‘nice’, or to be a ‘good girl’, what it means to ‘do well’. We are shown what it means to ‘work hard’ and how to look ‘acceptable’.
We are taught to seek permission from authority; our parents, our teachers, and from the media we consume too. We seek permission not only about who we should be, but when we can rest, how we can relax, when we can use the bathroom, what we can eat, the clothes we can wear, how we can spend our money and what time to go to bed. More or less, add some things, take away some things. Everyone’s experience will be completely different.
There is no judgement of any of this, it’s kind of how the world works for the vast majority of us. These messages condition us, they help us to choose our friends, our relationships, our clothes, our work, they define a great deal for us. Our upbringing, of course, has a profound impact on who we become as adults.
Is it time to release the need for permission?
For some of us, perhaps those of us, who feel trapped, frustrated by themselves or stuck in their situation, continue to carry this need for permission into adult hood.
We are still looking around for someone to give us permission, to sign something off for us. Does this resonate with you? Looking around for a rule book on the ‘best’ morning routine, or the most ‘effective’ way to relax, constantly questioning your choices and decisions in lots of areas of your life? It can become exhausting to continue to try and meet unknown expectations.
Step into you…
Because there is no rule book. There is no ‘right’ way to do anything. It is safe to acknowledge that, as adults, we are the ones who can choose the rules for ourselves now. We have the power of choice.
If the rules by which you are living are no longer serving you, imagine the freedom of giving yourself permission to do things your way. To be the intentional creator of your autonomy and to be the light of your authenticity.
A moment of reflection…
So, if things feel ‘out of kilter’ for you right now, and you can’t quite put your finger on it, I offer you a moment to reflect. To pause. To notice. Are there any areas of your life, where you’re working to meet expectations set by others around you or previous versions of yourself, that no longer serve you?
What stories are you holding on to as truth, when they’re not really your own truth?
When you pause and tune in to yourself, what permission slip would you like to give yourself today?
- Permission to rest
- Permission to pause
- Permission to reflect
- Permission to invest in yourself
- Permission to make money
- Permission to listen to your body
- Permission to set boundaries
- Permission to have fun
- Permission to say yes
- Permission to….?
It’s your choice.
If you’re ready to start making choices to move you closer to who you are, message me at firstname.lastname@example.org so we can chat.