12 Journal Prompts to Reparent Your Inner Teenager

How I met my Inner Teenager

A couple of weeks ago, I had some Eye Movement therapy. I was super keen to try this modality and work on myself using a different approach. The therapy unlocked something in me, a door. What I discovered behind that door was fierce and hot, a feeling that was staunch, unmoving and compressed. This feeling, I have come to sit with, is anger. An anger which was fully embodied by my inner teenager. 

Hello, I thought. We hadn’t met like this before, adult me and teenage me. And being myself, someone who is endlessly curious about my inner world and of course, the inner worlds of my clients, I set about working on an improved relationship with her. 

So that’s what I’m writing about today – how to build a different relationship with your inner teenager. This is a part of us that can often feel misunderstood or ignored, she is a teenager after all – that is kind of their vibe?

But firstly…

Why might you want or need to change your relationship with your inner teenager?  

Depending on your lived experience growing up, will determine the relationship you have with your inner teenager, much like with any of your other parts. 

For some, you will be home to an inner teenager who feels too restricted and repressed, who hasn’t had the space and airtime to be fully expressed, or found her place to reside or be able to embody her fullness. 

For others, they will house an inner teen who might benefit for some more loving, stabilising boundaries or structure. Not with shame and control, but with care and maturity. 

And of course, for others, perhaps you have a very healthy relationship with your inner teen. 

You might want to change your relationship with your inner teenager, if you feel as if she is either so far on the back seat that she is hanging out of the car boot, or she is so far in the driving seat without her drivers license that you’re going to crash in 0.0002 seconds.

This could show up in your life in lots of ways, like: 

• Feeling stuck and frustrated in your expression, like you have a lot to say but never open your mouth to let it out.
• If you sat still for long enough you would notice a torrent of rage rattling around within you.
• Areas of your life where you’re consistently not boundaried or ‘adult’ enough – think bank accounts, bed times, screen time, unhealthy relationships. 

I really had to consider what life for a teenager should be like, in its very healthiest form. Now, I’m not a parent, so I spoke to my friends who were, as well as drawing on what I know from being a therapeutic coach and doing some research online. In attempt to understand the relationship it would be good to create within oneself.

What is a healthy relationship with your inner teenager? 

So safe and healthy teenagers shout, scream, cry, push boundaries, do dumb shit and they feel, A LOT. All at once.  

They are at a stage of transitioning from child into adult, a time of unfolding, exploring themselves, their sexuality, desires, opinions. Ultimately this is a time when they should be trying new things, expressing themselves in music, clothes, art, activism, whatever they want! 

The main thing is, they need both the space to do this AND the boundaries so they are kept safe whilst doing it. 

How to create those conditions for yourself? 

What a grand question – how can you create within something you may not have experienced before? Especially if you are not a parent yourself and so don’t have a frame of reference. 

The answer, is with intention and commitment to self. It is with self-exploration first, before you can move on to the reparenting part. First, you must meet yourself where you are at:

So, instead of trying to explain, I will invite you to explore this for yourself, using the below journalling prompts. There are lots here, so I offer you to take which ones strike the biggest intial reaction when you read them first: 

1. As a teenager, what things did you want to say, wear, try, & create, that you felt you never could?
2. As a teenager, what were you passionate and curious about that felt you never got to explore?
3. What does it feel like when you try to silence your inner teenager? 
4. If you could do one thing together today, what would it be? 
5. Are there ‘rules’ that I used to resist that I now wish someone had helped me to understanding or hold with more care? 
6. In what areas of my life do I feel out of control or untethered? How might this be my inner teenager asking for some support? 
7. What does ‘discipline’ mean to me as an adult? Is there space to redefine this as an act of self-love rather than punishment? 
8. What would it look like to be a ‘cool’ but steady parent to myself? What kind of routines or rituals might I offer my inner teen?
9. Where did I learn that being loud, messy, emotional, or expressive was “too much”? 
10. What kind of chaos, expression, or rebellion, if any, did I secretly crave but never let myself touch?
11. Where in my adult life am I still performing perfection, politeness, or responsibility at the expense of joy, wildness, or truth?
12. If my inner teen could scream something into the world without consequences, what would it be? What would I write on a wall in permanent marker?

I would absolutely love to hear what comes up for you, what you learn or notice about yourself from these prompts – feel free to drop me an email and let me know.