I see you telling google ‘I am so bored with my life’. If you’re anything like a lot of us, you’re hyper-independent (not great at asking for help)? A bit of a perfectionist or a recovering people pleaser? And by this point, probably pretty tired (read: exhausted and burnt out). You have tried so hard to figure ‘it’ all out and keep ending up here.
And now here you are, sat at your office desk, again, somewhere between intensely frustrated, like a bumblebee stuck in a glass jar and intensely flat, like a syrup-less pancake.
Perhaps it’s a pendulum swing between the two feelings? Maybe it’s the duality of them both – the flatness and the frustrated overwhelm. It can feel pretty suffocating, like a stuck-ness that you cannot seem to shift or explain.
After all, on paper, and to the external world, things are okay, but on the inside, it feels hot, pent-up, misaligned and kind of like it makes your skin itch?
I know how hard it is to articulate what you’re really feeling; hence, you google it. And so, you’ve arrived here because you didn’t fancy the Guardian article telling you why it’s good to bored, nor did you fancy reading the forums where everyone else is just sharing their own unfulfillment with life.
For sure, I know that you don’t want to be feeling like this. You have a flame in your belly. It might feel small right now, but she is there and she is screaming at you, that there is more to life than this for you.
In this blog, we’ll explore a three ideas that might just help you to start the shift from stuck and bored to evolution and change.
I want you to read this and feel hopeful, maybe even galvanised to act. That by reading this it made you say “enough is enough. I cannot entertain this BS for a second longer.” That would be my dream.
So, let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start…
Is it normal to feel bored with life?
Of course, it is normal to feel bored with your life, in moments. It is normal to feel ALL emotions, that is what it is to be human. It’s normal for a feeling to appear, to be felt, and then to disappear. It is in the not feeling, or speaking, or acknowledging, of a particular feeling, when it becomes louder, stronger, more intense.
Emotion, is Energy in Motion (E-Motion), it is supposed to move through you, to be released (in tears, through voice, movement, writing, by some other form of expression). When we continually hold it in, it is like a beach ball pushed down under water, with the pressure to burst up and out ever-increasing.
So yes, it is normal to feel bored with your life in transient moments. If it is an overriding theme for some time, then it is well worth creating some space for yourself to get curious about what’s happening for you.
Consistently having this feeling, or sense of boredom, can have a significant impact on your wellbeing and health. Boredom is often characterised by a sense of restlessness and apathy. That isn’t a pleasant way to move through your life.
Why does this sense of boredom persist?
Firstly, because you might be pretty great at pretending that ‘it’s all good, I’m fine.’ Overtime this diminishment of your actual feelings accumulates as a feeling of ‘boredom.’ Why? Because boredom is relatable and doesn’t come across as that deep. It’s a surface level phrase for most people. Boredom is kind of digestible, both to yourself and to people around you, isn’t it?
Secondly, because ‘what we resist, persists’ (Carl Jung). Not actively getting curious about what this sense of boredom is really about, will make it feel like an even bigger feeling.
So, what might be underneath the boredom banner?
- Unmet expectations in life or at work e.g. perhaps you find yourself carrying way more of the emotional load in your home life and relationships than you want to keep holding.
- Disconnection from your soul’s purpose e.g. you know you have that deep desire within you to start your own interior design company but you’re scared that someone will find out!
- Routine that is ready to be changed and lack of novelty e.g. you keep on keeping on with your daily life, but frankly, getting up at the same time everyday, hitting the gym and drinking your shake isn’t floating your boat anymore.
- Living or working out of alignment with your values e.g. perhaps a core value for you is pride but you find yourself working in a job where feedback or a ‘well done’ is few and far between and it’s grinding your gears.
- A whole mix of emotions that you’re not sure how to label, feel and process (e.g., anxiety, anger, sadness)
- Feeling bored or powerless around ongoing issues e.g. poor sleep, health issues etc.
- Frustration around your current coping skills and not feeling sure on how to change these e.g. relationship with food, movement, alcohol and so on.
So, now we have a sense of why it might be showing up, and feeling quite intense…
How to stop feeling bored with your life?
Acknowledging that if you’ve had this underlying sense of boredom for a little while, that peeling it away will be a bit of a process or a journey you can choose to take. Noting that this isn’t something that is here to be ‘fixed’ overnight. This really is about getting to learn yourself on a deeper level and understanding how you can navigate your inner world and invite in more of what you want.
Here are 3 ways that might be a good place to begin:
- Talk to someone safe. Do you have a space or a friend to whom you can express where you are at, without worrying you are going to be inviting in a barrage or unsolicited advice? It would be a great idea just to begin trying to say out loud what’s on your mind – putting some words to what is going on for you, is never a bad idea.
- Come out of your head and into your body – if the overwhelm and frustration around this feeling of boredom is strong, it can be a good idea to get out of your head and into your body. If we are trying to figure something out from a place of total overwhelm and frustration, it’s not going to end well. It’s important first to try and be in a grounded space, in order to make progress. Yoga or a mindful walk?
- The journaling activity below might be a good place to begin:
Journal step 1: Got to town
Let it all out; if it feels good to you – grab a journal and a pen and see if you can express that boredom in any words – write until your heart’s content. The main thing here is to remove judgement of yourself and let come out, whatever wants to come out. It doesn’t really need to make sense.
See it as a way to unleash the sense of stuck-ness and start the unblocking process. To begin to start shifting what is stagnant within. This is about curiosity, getting a sense of what that boredom is being created by- is it your job, relationship, home life, work/life balance, monotony of life? It might feel like it’s all of them. And that’s okay.
Journal step 2: Reflect
Looking at what you’ve written, the following journaling prompts could be a helpful next step:
- What are my core values?
- In which ways are my values currently being met or not met in the different areas of my life?
- If I had to break my life down into segments (work, relationship, spirituality, fun, sleep, mental health, physical health, adventure, etc- choosing whatever is important to you), and give each a score out of 10 for how satisfied I feel with each area, what would this look like?
- What role do I play in authoring my life?
Journal step 3: Envision
Dream – in your perfect world, what would be happening differently? If each area of your life was scoring 10/10 – vision what that would look like, feel like, imagine what would be happening?
Journal step 4: Action
Look at everything you’ve written down and ask yourself a final question: What one action (big or tiny) would help to improve my situation by 5%?
It’s important to acknowledge that this process is a journey and not one to be figured out in one journaling session or walk. There are often layers to peel back and unfold, facets of self to discover and explore. The most important thing is to give yourself a break and lead with self-compassion and self-kindness. Which I know in and of itself can be a huge challenge.
In conclusion…
It’s natural to feel stuck sometimes, to feel like life has become a monotonous loop. But that spark inside of you, that quiet voice calling for more, is a sign that change is not only possible, but necessary. The journey from feeling bored and restless to living a more fulfilling and aligned life isn’t about quick fixes; it’s about peeling back the layers, getting curious about your inner world, and making meaningful shifts.
If this resonates with you and you’re ready to explore this journey, I’d love to support you. Book a free discovery call with me, and let’s start peeling back the layers together. You don’t have to do it alone.