What is Self Discovery Work?
Self Discovery work is actively choosing to get to know yourself. When I say ‘yourself’ – I mean, your true self. The core of you, the you that deeply wants to be fully expressed and loved. Inside all of us, there is infinite depth. When we are born, we are almost immediately given a name and a label of ‘boy’ or ‘girl’. As time goes on, we are given more labels, some kind and helpful, others not so. We also experience life and so our lived experiences shape our behaviour and our mindset too.
So Self Discovery work is a form of personal development which encapsulates a huge spectrum of activities, practices and rituals that supports you to realise more of your core truth. It is a process, of observing, of unfolding and of peeling back the layers of conditioning to uncover what is your truth, versus what is someone else’s story you’ve been holding on to.
In this article, I want to share the benefits of Self Discovery work and some ideas about how you could choose to begin your own journey.
Why would I be interested in Self Discovery work?
Firstly, why might you be interested in Self Discovery work? Have you ever felt as if you’re not good enough to do something? Or that you keep finding yourself stuck in the same old pattern – be it in relationships or with work or something else? Perhaps you know that feeling that you’re spending more time in all the ‘shoulds’ of who you think you ‘should’ be rather than being your true, authentic self.
I’m sure you’ve felt lost in the noise in your head and had a desire to find yourself. Self Discovery work supports you to:
1. Become More Aware of Your Values
This work helps you decipher whether the things that are deeply important to you are truly your values or if you’re living your life in accordance with someone else’s values. For example:
- Imagine trying to build a business and continually setting the goal of wanting a ‘successful business’ but feeling like you can’t make it happen. Self Discovery work asks you to pause and ask if ‘success’ really is your value. Perhaps it’s a value of a parent, while you might actually prefer to have a ‘joyful business’ instead.
When you are clear on your own values, you can move toward your intentions and desires in an aligned and purposeful way. This work helps with alignment.
2. Quash Your Limiting Beliefs
The things we believe about ourselves are simply thoughts that we’ve repeated so many times, they’ve become true to us. Some of these thoughts might not be kind or compassionate. Self Discovery work helps you become aware of the narratives you’re living by and decide if they’re serving you. For example:
- Perhaps you’ve avoided going for a promotion at work because a teacher once told you that you’d “never amount to anything.” Self Discovery work holds up a mirror and allows you to rewrite that story.
Our thoughts impact our feelings, which in turn impact our behaviours. Aligning your thoughts to ones that support and serve you can make all the difference.
3. Improve Your Interoception
Interoception is your ability to perceive your internal bodily sensations (like hunger, tiredness, or your breathing), as well as how you feel in a moment. For example:
- Instead of automatically saying “I don’t mind” when someone asks what you’d like for dinner, you can tune in to what you truly feel and respond accordingly.
- Or, if you smile in a work meeting but feel annoyed later that night, you’ll gain the ability to identify what’s truly going on for you.
Self Discovery work reconnects you with your internal navigation system.
4. Raise Awareness of Triggers and Patterns
If you often find yourself stuck in the same arguments, conflicts, or dramas, Self Discovery work can help. For instance:
- A recent conversation with a friend triggered feelings of anger or sadness. What is at the root of this reaction? Recognising triggers can empower you to rewrite patterns and create new, more helpful neural pathways.
In short, Self Discovery work helps you become an active author of your own life. And well…why wouldn’t you want that?
How could I begin with my Self Discovery journey?
The first thing to be aware of, is that this is a process. It is not a one-off ‘thing’ you can sit down and do, it is a series of moments. Each moment provides a bit more of the jigsaw puzzle or unlocks another part of you. The process itself is about self-awareness raising and self observation. Below are a few ideas of where you could begin:
- Meditation – Silent sitting meditation for 10 minutes a day can have an enormous impact on increasing your self awareness. You are asking yourself to sit and BE. There is literally nothing for you to DO during this time, except to breath and to witness your inner world. Over time of practicing regular meditation, you will become more able to discern your ‘monkey mind’ from your sense of ‘I AM’. You start to understand who is the ‘you’ paying awareness to your mind.
- Meditation is a practice, that takes practice. In the beginning, if you are new to meditation, it could be helpful to use an app such as headspace or insight timer to support you.
- Journaling – The power of journaling is a hill I will die upon! Getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper, again, is a powerful experience in self observation. It supports you to witness thoughts for what they are, to detach from them, to notice if they are helpful or unhelpful. A regular practice can help you in noticing patterns that come up for you time and again and also issues that seem to be sticking points in your life. Settling down for 10 minutes a day of journaling will have a huge impact.
- If free-flow writing feels daunting, try guided journals with prompts to get started.
- Self help books – Read. Start to read about the topic and follow what sparks your interest. For sure, it is safe to say, this isn’t and never will be a linear journey, so take what lights you up and go with it. Start reading about the topic and follow what sparks your interest. Some great options include:
- The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
- How to Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LePera
- Try new things – start to become more curious about your passions, about what drives you, about what makes you feel a certain kind of way. Become aware of how things make you feel in your body. Discover what lights you up and what dulls you. The only way this is possible is by dipping your toes in new waters. Along the way, there is so much power in noticing resistance or feelings of ‘not good enough-ness’ or other unhelpful narratives when you try something new. Once you can identify pesky limiting beliefs, you can work to change and rewrite them.
- Try a pottery class, join a hiking group, or learn a new language. Notice what excites you and what doesn’t.
- Practice vulnerability & self-compassion – Self Discovery work isn’t for the faint hearted. It is for the minority of people who have this flame inside they’re not willing to keep on dimming. It isn’t easy to ask yourself to consistently step out of your comfort zone, to try new things, to challenge narratives and believes, to heal, to set boundaries and take full responsibility for self. It can be challenging. So practicing vulnerability and self-compassion are key components of the Self Discovery journey.
These are just a few ideas of places you could choose to begin. And if you’re anything like I was when I began my Self Discovery work, I was convinced there was a ‘right’ way to do it, that there must be some kind of best and most efficient way. I felt and thought that, because that is how I had lived my life – following everyone else’s rules. Hence why, I can promise you, there really is NO right way to do this journey. That’s the point.
The journey in and of itself is Self Discovery because of how it challenges you to try new things, to choose what you think if ‘right’ for you and to have to discover more deeply and pick yourself up and go again.
What support will help on my journey?
There are lots of wonderful practitioners out in the Self Discovery work world, coaches, therapists, hypnotherapists. The main thing is finding someone who you feel like is what you need for wherever you’re currently at.
If you’re not sure, the best thing to do, is to reach out and have a chat to see if it feels like a good fit. If you’d like to enter into some Self Discovery work, I would love to have a free chat with you to see if I can support you in any way. You can book your call here.
Remember, there is no ‘right’ way to do this journey. The process itself is Self Discovery because it challenges you to try new things, define what’s right for you, and uncover deeper layers of your truth.